When to stop breastfeeding

Stopping breastfeeding also called weaning, is when you stop breastfeeding your baby or toddler, when your baby no longer has any breastmilk. Weaning is the process of stopping breastfeeding and replacing it with either expressed breast milk, formula or milk. Stopping breastfeeding is a natural process, and all growing children go through it, but it can sometimes be a difficult time for mother and baby. Your breast milk contains everything your baby needs for the first 6 months of their life. Weaning usually starts when your baby has any food other than your breast milk at times during the day and weaning ends when your child no longer has any breastmilk. Breastfeeding is recommended when your baby starts eating solid foods at around six months. It’s best for your baby if you keep breastfeeding while giving your baby solids until at least 12 months. Your baby might even start weaning before you’re ready, but this is less common. For example, you might need to wean, because you’re going back to or starting work.

Weaning is going to be different for every mother and baby. It’s important to remember that it is a process, not an event, and the time involved varies from person to person. Some children are more attached to breastfeeding than other children are. They’ll all wean in their own time. But if you don’t want to wait for your child to wean herself, weaning can happen when you’re ready.

Weaning can occur in 3 different ways:

1. Mutual decision – the easiest and most comfortable way to wean for both of you, this is when your baby starts to show an interest in food
2. Mother-led weaning – there could several reasons why you want to wean your baby, such as returning to work, problems with breastfeeding, another pregnancy, medical issues or just deciding it’s the right time
3. Baby-led weaning – this is when your baby stops showing an interest in breastfeeding

You might decide to stop breastfeeding when or before your baby reaches 6 or 12 months. For example, you might find that you start thinking about weaning when you’re getting ready to return to work. If your baby is older than six months and developing well, you might decide to try night weaning while still breastfeeding during the day. On the other hand, if you’re comfortable with feeding your baby during the night, there’s no hurry to phase out night feeds. You can choose what works best for you and your baby.

To wean an older baby or toddler, you might want to go slowly, changing your child’s routine gradually.

It’s also quite common to feel a bit down after your last feed, even if you were looking forward to weaning. If you’re feeling a bit sad about the last breastfeed, that’s pretty normal. It might help to remind yourself that you’ve done a great job giving your child a healthy start to life.

Your hormones might take some time to return to normal. Some women begin ovulating as soon as they reduce night feeds or begin to wean, while others find that the return of ovulation and menstruation takes several months.

There is no need to wean because of the return of menstruation. Some mothers notice their babies seem fussy a few days before their period starts and for the first couple of days of the cycle. Some mothers notice their nipples can be tender at this time too.

If you need to wean quickly, here are some suggestions that will make weaning more comfortable for you and less upsetting for you and your child. Your milk supply will gradually decrease as milk is removed less often.

• Depending on your child’s age and how much she needs to suck, you can wean on to a cup or a bottle. Babies younger than 7 months should use a bottle, but if older than 7 months, they can start to use a cup.
• Slow weaning is best, both emotionally and physically, for you and your baby. For you, it will be more comfortable because your breast milk will decrease gradually. This will reduce the risk of blocked ducts and mastitis. You will also avoid a sudden hormonal change. If it is slow, your baby will remain secure and more settled as they adjust to the change.
• Start dropping the breastfeed that your child seems least interested in. Then cut out one breastfeed every few days, or one each week, depending on your own comfort, and how willing to cooperate she is.
  • Slowly tapering off how long and how often you breast-feed each day — over the course of weeks or months — will cause your milk supply to gradually diminish and prevent engorgement. It might be easiest to drop a midday breast-feeding session first. After a lunch of solid food, your child might become interested in an activity and naturally give up this session. Once you’ve dropped one feeding, you can work on dropping another.
• Cow’s milk is not suitable for babies under 12 months, so until they reach that age you should continue with expressed breast milk or formula.
• Whether you replace the missed feeds with formula, cows’ milk or water, will depend on the age of your child and the other food and drinks she is having. If your child is less than 12 months of age and is being weaned from breastfeeding or breastmilk feeding, she will need to have breastfeeds replaced with formula. If your child is older than 12 months of age, she can have cows’ milk as a drink. Ask your child health nurse to help you with this.
• Make sure you still spend plenty of time with your child and give her lots of cuddles.
• If your breasts become engorged, hand express or use a hand pump until you are comfortable. Do not try to empty your breasts. You do not want your supply to build up again.
• If your baby is unwilling to follow your lead, here are some more ideas, which will help stimulate your breasts less, and therefore reduce your milk supply
  • Offer your baby a pacifier (dummy) for extra sucking if she needs it;
  • Give your baby formula before breastmilk, if doing both at the same feed;
  • Offer one breast only at each feed, and ensure that your baby has plenty of other drinks; and/or
  • Feed your baby according to a fixed routine, if possible.
• If your baby is finding weaning difficult, try:
  • lots of extra cuddles
  • offering a dummy for extra sucking
  • offering formula before breast milk (if weaning on to formula)
  • making sure that your baby is being offered lots of extra drinks
  • offering only one breast at each feed
  • changing your routine – go out when your baby is due for a breastfeed
  • having your partner, a friend or a relative offer a cup or bottle to your baby
  • having your partner get up to the baby when they wake at night

Mutual weaning

The natural weaning process begins once your baby starts to have anything other than breast milk, including water, juices, solid food and other milks. However, most of us think of weaning as the time during which our babies start having fewer and fewer breastfeeds until they are completely replaced by other food and drinks.

Baby-led weaning

Sometimes your baby will decide for herself that she has had enough. This can make your feel disappointed, sad or even rejected. This may be especially so if you were looking forward to many more months of leisurely feeding. Sometimes a baby’s refusal may be temporary.

Mother-led weaning

• You have had enough. Mothers of older babies and toddlers sometimes feel like this, especially if your baby loves to feed frequently, especially during the night.
• You wish to become pregnant and breastfeeding could be preventing ovulation.

You have been advised to wean for medical reasons. If you are not keen to wean, let your doctor know how you feel. Sometimes weaning is not the only option.

Weaning, pregnancy and contraception

Breastfeeding gives you some protection from getting pregnant, especially if:

• you’ve been exclusively breastfeeding
• your periods haven’t started again
• your baby is less than six months old and doesn’t sleep for long periods between feeds.

When you start to wean your baby, breastfeeding might give you less protection from getting pregnant, so it’s a good idea to consider other forms of contraception.

If you’re thinking about oral contraception – either the combined pill or the minipill – there are a couple of things to bear in mind:

• It’s safe to start the combined pill (estrogen and progesterone) while your baby is still having some breastfeeds. The combined pill helps reduce your supply of breastmilk.
• You need to take greater care with the minipill (progesterone only pill) if it’s your only contraception in addition to breastfeeding. For example, you must take it within three hours of the same time every day.

The contraceptive pill is prescription medicine, so you’ll need to see your doctor or obstetrician to get it. Your doctor will talk you through how to use it properly so you’re protected from getting pregnant.

How to wean from breastfeeding

When you’re stopping breastfeeding, it’s a good idea to take it slowly. This way your baby can get used to the change in routine and diet, and your body can get used to no longer making milk. If the decision to wean is yours rather than your baby’s, you might need to offer some extra comfort as you and your baby make the transition to bottle-feeding or drinking from a cup. Plenty of cuddles and time with you can help your baby feel secure and loved without relying on the breast.

Weaning for baby

You can wean baby to a cup or a bottle. This decision depends on your baby’s age – if your baby is around 7-8 months, he could learn to drink straight from a cup.

The age of your baby also determines whether to replace breastfeeds with infant formula or cow’s milk – babies younger than 12 months shouldn’t be offered cow’s milk, so they need to be weaned onto formula.

When you start the weaning process, the first step is to replace the breastfeed your baby seems least keen on with expressed breastmilk, infant formula or cow’s milk, from a cup or bottle. Drop one breastfeed at a time, and wait a few days or a week before you drop the next one.

Weaning off breastfeeding for older children

Breastmilk continues to provide both nutrition and immune benefits for toddlers and older children. Many mothers find that breastfeeding provides their child with the emotional security that ends up being one of the most important parts of their feeding relationship. It lets their child outgrow infancy at their own pace.

Weaning can be stressful for a toddler or preschooler so take it slowly. Give your child comfort and cuddles to make the change easier.

Weaning is likely to be a big change for your child. For many older children, breastfeeding is more about security and comfort than about food, so weaning can be quite stressful.

This means it’s probably best to avoid weaning when there are other major changes in your child’s life – for example, toilet training, starting child care or moving house.

A few weeks or months before you start weaning, it’s a good idea to start talking with your child about what will happen. This will give your child time to get used to the idea and can help to make the change easier.

When you are breastfeeding a toddler or older child, it is okay to set limits on feeding that are realistic for you and your child.

When you’re weaning older children off breastfeeding, a good way to start is to never offer a breastfeed, but never refuse.

Here are more tips that can help. You can start with the tip you think will suit your child best, or use a few if that suits you both:

• Drop one breastfeed at a time, and wait a few days before you drop the next one. This will also be easier on your breasts, which might get engorged if you stop too suddenly.
• Consider dropping daytime breastfeeds first, then gradually drop any bedtime or night-time feeds – these are the ones your child probably feels most needy about.
• Introduce a few limits, like not breastfeeding when you’re out, or feeding only after lunch during the day.
• Introduce lots of activities and outings into your daily routine so your child is too busy and distracted to think about breastfeeding.
• Occasionally replace a breastfeed with a ‘grown-up’ alternative. Your child might be excited about having a special but healthy drink like a babyccino at a café when he’d normally be at home having a breastfeed.
• Try the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ principle. This involves leaving your child with someone she’s comfortable with at times when she’d normally have a breastfeed, because she’ll be less likely to miss it if you’re not around. A child usually reacts differently with people they know well and will take other drinks and food and forget about a breastfeed.
• Avoid dressing and undressing while your child is around, and wear clothes that make it hard for your child to get to your breasts – for example, dresses rather than separates.
• If your child wakes in the night for a breastfeed, try to let your partner or someone else settle him with a cup of milk or water.
• Consider your child’s sucking need. If your child really seems to need to suck, weaning onto a bottle may be better than going straight to a cup. Offer a short breastfeed, then the bottle.

Remember that children over 12 months of age can be weaned to cow’s milk from a cup. You don’t need to wean an older child onto formula.

Weaning off morning and night feeds

Your child’s last remaining breastfeeds might be at bedtime and when she wakes in the morning.

• To drop the morning feed, try to be up and dressed before your child wakes, then offer him a cup of milk and breakfast.
• To drop the bedtime feed, a change of routine can help break the old routine. You could try a sleepover with grandparents, or your partner could read stories to your child instead of a breastfeed.

If your child is used to being fed to sleep, change the routine by offering a story after the feed, as an incentive to stay awake.

Feeding in another room, and not just before bed, can also help break the association between feeding and sleeping. Once you’ve broken the association, over time you can drop the feed.

When weaning your child off night feeds, make sure her bedtime still involves a relaxed, warm routine with lots of cuddles.

Weaning for mum

If you stop breastfeeding quickly, your breasts might fill with milk (engorge) and get very uncomfortable. To prevent engorged breasts, you might need to express your milk sometimes. Express just enough for comfort – if you express too much you’ll actually stimulate an increase in supply.

As you reduce the number of breastfeeds, your milk supply will also slowly decrease. This reduces the risk of blocked ducts and mastitis. Weaning slowly also gives your baby time to adjust.

Some mothers need to go from one feed a day to one feed every few days to avoid engorged breasts, before stopping breastfeeding altogether.

Watch out for lumpy breasts. After your baby has stopped breastfeeding, you might have lumpy breasts for 5-10 days. A lump might indicate a blocked duct or the beginnings of mastitis. If this happens, try massaging the lumps or expressing a small amount of milk. This might help reduce the lumpiness.

If any lump is persistent or painful or you start feeling flu-like symptoms, see your doctor as soon as possible.

Your feelings about weaning

You may feel sad, weepy, or even depressed after the last feed, even if you really wanted to wean and it went smoothly and calmly. These are very natural feelings. Your hormones take time to get back to normal, especially if you had to wean quickly. Some women do not begin to menstruate immediately and some even find the return of their ovulation and menstruation is delayed for some months. Some find that they still have a little bit of milk in their breasts for weeks, or even months, after they wean.

Should I refuse feedings during the weaning process?

Refusing to breast-feed when your child wants to nurse can increase your child’s focus on the activity. If your child wants to nurse, go ahead. Then, continue working to distract him or her with new foods, activities and sources of reassurance — such as a favorite stuffed animal — around the times of your typical breast-feeding sessions.

What about nutrition after weaning?

If you wean your child from breast-feeding before age 1, use expressed breast milk or iron-fortified formula. Don’t give your child cow’s milk until after his or her first birthday.

You can wean your child to a bottle and then a cup or directly to a cup. When introducing your child to a bottle, choose a time when he or she isn’t extremely hungry and might have more patience. Use a bottle nipple with a slow flow at first. If you use a bottle nipple with a fast flow, your child might become accustomed to that and get frustrated with the pacing and different flow rate of milk during breast-feeding.

How long does weaning take?

Weaning could take days, weeks or months. Even after you successfully wean your child from day feedings, you might continue to breast-feed in the morning and before your child’s bedtime to keep up that feeling of closeness.

Breast-feeding is an intimate experience. You might have mixed emotions about letting go. But by taking a gradual approach to weaning and offering lots of affection you can help your child make a smooth transition to a bottle or cup.

When do you stop breastfeeding?

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months after birth and breastfeeding in combination with solids foods until at least age 1. Breastfeeding is recommended as long as you and your baby wish to continue.

When to start weaning your child is a personal decision. It’s often easiest to begin weaning when your baby starts the process. Changes in breast-feeding patterns leading to eventual weaning often begin naturally at age 6 months, when solid foods are typically introduced. Some children begin to seek other forms of nutrition and comfort at around age 1. By this age, children typically eat a variety of solid foods and are able to drink from a cup. Other children might not initiate weaning until they become toddlers, when they’re less willing to sit still during breast-feeding.

You might also decide when to start the weaning process yourself. This might be more difficult than following your child’s lead — but can be done with extra care and sensitivity.

Whenever you start weaning your baby from the breast, focus on your child’s needs as well as your own. Resist comparing your situation with that of other families, and consider rethinking any deadlines you might have set for weaning when you were pregnant or when your baby was a newborn.

Are there certain times when it wouldn’t be smart to start weaning?

Consider delaying weaning if:

• You’re concerned about allergens. If you or your child’s father has food allergies, consider delaying weaning until after your child turns age 1. Research suggests that exposing a child to potential allergens while breast-feeding might decrease his or her risk of developing allergies. Talk to your child’s doctor.
• Your child isn’t feeling well. If your child is ill or teething, postpone weaning until he or she feels better. You might also postpone weaning if you’re not feeling well. You’re both more likely to handle the transition well if you’re in good health.
• A major change has occurred. Avoid initiating weaning during a time of major change. If your family has recently moved or your child care situation has changed, for example, postpone weaning until a less stressful time.

If your baby is struggling with the weaning process, consider trying again in a month or two.